Love.

I am completely and utterly in love with Alex. He makes me feel so good whenever I am near him. I'm not sure where this will go. But... I'd like to definitely see him grow old. :-)

Karma...

it is a bitch!

I'm considering taking my sister's advice that she has on a keychain. It says KMMS which stands for Keep My Mouth Shut. I need to retrain some thoughts too.

Procrastination...

is the worst enemy of mine in the world. I have to finish my paper by Sunday. I have all of my surveys and have entered them all into the SPSS software. All I have to do is a bit of work today and tomorrow... and I'm finished. I have this huge lack of motivation thing going on. I long to be a carefree young person with nothing to do for the summer. I know I'll be pissed off/stressed out Sunday night trying to finish it all.

Hopefully I'll work on it soon. :-)

Survey for my paper

http://FreeOnlineSurveys.com/rendersurvey.asp?sid=8o9n9giggf4478w788210

I am writing a paper this summer for my Communication 580 class. I want to see if the level of internet usage affects on college student's level of professionalism in their future professions. If any fellow college students out there would like to help me out, please take this survey at the above link in your spare time.

Thanks!

effing ridiculous!

Apparently I make people feel like:

-I'm better than them
-They're idiots
-I'm a control freak

When someone tells me that they're sick or something is wrong with their life, I automatically go into problem solving mode. It's not for ANY of the above reasons. I've never thought anyone was stupid or that I was better than them. I give advice when you tell me your problems because I want to help and make you feel better or help out what's going on with your situation. It's this whole "Momma bear" type of thing that's in me. I don't mean to make anyone feel like this whenever I give out advice. Here's the thing... if you don't want my advice, then don't tell me about your problems! Simple as that! Or say... "I know you want to help with things Allison, but please do not give me your advice unless I ask for it". What am I supposed to do? You tell me your problems about something and I'm supposed to just sit there and say "oh that sucks for you"?!?! Seriously?!

I will no longer voice my opinion to those who have said that I'm a control freak or that I lecture too often. So, so, SO sorry that I gave a crap and wanted to help out my friends! I'm sick of this b.s. I'm not a bad person. All I want is for my friends to be happy. Ugh!

6 Month Anniversary

It was amazing!

We made pancakes in the morning. I burned the first two sadly but Alex took over from there. He made them just right. We slathered them with butter and syrup while watching t.v.

He took me ice skating! I wish we would've had a camera with us! It was SO cute watching him skate! He's not exactly the best skater, but he tried and it was really sweet of him to take me there.

We went home, got showered and dressed up. He took me to Bistro Byronz for dinner. It's a really cute/intimate restaurant with really yummy food! When we clinked our wine glasses in cheers to the occasion, he said "here's to another six months!" :-) I could've just swoon right there when he said that.

Then he took me to Marble Slab Creamery for some delicious ice cream! We went home to watch episodes of Felicity and eat our ice cream.

It was a PERFECT evening!

He gave me a really pretty necklace and flowers. I gave him a card, a cute little elephant statue (special meaning between us for that one), and I cross stitched the word love with hearts in a little picture frame.

I love Alex so much! He makes me so happy! Things are pretty serious between us and I love it! I could definitely see myself marrying him. :::knocks on wood:::

hearts

Extra long weekend with the boyfriend. I already miss him. Can't wait until this weekend! It's our 6 month anniversary! I told him that I have a really cute dress to wear. He said that I should wear long pants that I don't mind getting dirty for the first part of the date and that I can wear my dress for the second part of the date. Hmmm... wonder what he's got up his sleeve?

BP

This situation has been out of control but I think the government is trying their best to control it. It's only in hindsight that you can sit there judging and saying "Oh well they should've done c and d"... but you've got to try a and b first before you can move on to the next plans.

Is this normal?

I love him. I like hanging out with him. There are more times than I care to admit that I feel like he could care less whether we're together or not. I know he loves me. He says he loves me. I feel the passion when we kiss or make love but other than that, there's not much there. I feel like I'm a nuisance and I just get in the way of his daily routine. I cook, clean, look pretty, am extremely conversational with his friends and family... I feel like I give and give and give but there isn't much in return. He constantly doubts our relationship and tells me about it often. He assures me that he wants to be with me but he has his doubts. Am I wasting my time? He's sweet, treats me right but I feel like I'm the only one trying in this relationship sometimes. Are relationships supposed to make you think/question them so often? I thought this was supposed to be easy and feel so natural. Sometimes it does... but lately it just doesn't. Maybe I should give it some more time? Maybe I should break up with him? Maybe we just need space from each other? Ugh! S.O.S.

Seriously?... Seriously?!

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20005333-503544.html

This is so infuriating.

Accentuate the positives?

People are overly critical of anything and everything in their lives. There could be a million things going right and only one or two things going wrong. For some odd reason, we tend to focus all of our energy on those negative aspects. It seems like very few people appreciate the good things in life.

I can honestly say that I am very happy with my life. I have great sisters. I am getting my Masters degree. I have a great roommate. My boyfriend is amazing. I love my family. I've lost 20 pounds!

There aren't too many things going wrong with my life and those that aren't perfect don't get to me that much because you can't cry over spilled milk... but you can grab some paper towels to soak it up and make things better.

State's Rights?

Yesterday, I took a road trip with my father. We usually end up discussing something political or something going on with the world in general. We got onto the subject of Arizona's new law of stopping anyone that looks like an illegal alien and deporting them. Okay, I'm not sure of the exact rules of the law but that's the gist of what I've been hearing about lately. Correct me if I'm wrong please. I am for state's rights.

I am all for anyone and everyone coming to the United States. There is nothing wrong with that. Yes, it may be a bit racial profiling but I'm sure Arizona, along with many other states, is tired of waiting around for the government to do something about this. I think that as long as you go through the proper steps with paperwork and properly become a legal citizen of the United States, then come on over and we'll welcome you or anyone else for that matter with open arms. People are just tired of others not going through the proper paperwork I think.

Is this a problem in other countries? Do we not know what's going on in other countries if this is going on around the world?

Keeping things P.C.?...

makes me want to roll my eyes. I understand that things are not always portrayed in the best light. But come on, you can't think that you're going to go through your entire life without something or someone offending you. I think people need to take a chill pill and get over themselves. Most of the things that go on around the world that involve people getting upset over politically incorrect things are never intentional. They are things that just happen and then someone, somewhere wants to get some money from it so they have to find something that offends them.

Again, you can't expect to go through your life without someone or something offending you. This p.c. stuff is such bullshit and I really HOPE that one of these days people will get over themselves, be an adult, and deal with it. lol

Alex

I really do love him. He always leaves me feeling all warm and melty inside after we get off of Skype. One day we will live in the same city. It's not too bad though. We live 45 minutes apart from one another. We have to because he is getting his Ph.D. at one school and I'm working on my Masters at another.

Gotta love that man!

He keeps saying he's "so proud" of me...

I lied to my father. I don't want him to know that I almost got kicked out of my University. My professor wanted to meet with me a few days ago to discuss my final paper. Apparently, it was too similar to my other paper that I wrote in another class this semester. I'm not going to make any excuses for myself because when I think about it, I did "double-dip". At the time I was writing the two papers, I wasn't thinking about that at all. All of my professors say that you should direct all of your papers in graduate school towards your topic in your final thesis paper. They say to do this so there will be a lot less work to do in the final semester. I used the same theory for both papers. I used the same method for both papers. I analyzed my data in the same way as well. However, the topics were not the same, the literature review (aside from the theory) was not the same, the results section was different, the discussion section was different and the conclusion was different. I got a C in one class (which is near death to any grad student). So, my professor told me that I must write an entirely different paper over the summer in order to complete his class and stay in the graduate school program. THANK YOU BABY JESUS!!! I really wanted to enjoy my summer vacation but I'd rather do the research and writing of a paper all over again instead of getting thrown out of school. Nothing's ever easy... but at least I now know what "double dipping" is. My professor said that he could not give me an A because that wouldn't be fair to the other students which is understandable. I would've had an A if this wouldn't have happened. UGH! Hopefully I can do amazing on the paper and get a B or possibly a C. The department's website says that after three C's, you are kicked out of the program. So... I must bust ass for the remainder of my time in graduate school. I just need to learn better time management skills and stop procrastinating with t.v. watching and playing on the internet.

Do you ever feel like...

you're not fully a grown up yet? Everyone around me seems so together with everything they do. I feel like I am still a little kid in a grown up world that is forever meant to mess up with everything she does. There are so many type A personalities out there, it's insane. I really want to be more organized and on top of my game but I can never seem to reach that point.

Procrastination is my worst enemy. I get distracted so easily. My main distractions are playing on the internet with things that have absolutely nothing to do with school or work and watching hours of endless, mind numbing television. I need to wear a rubber band on my wrist and snap it each time I waste time on either one of these activities so that I associate pain with it. I just need/want to be more together.

Sometimes I feel that if I had more money, everything would be easier for me. I am working towards my Masters degree in public relations right now. My family does not have a lot of money to help me out (seems like every other girl in my major has family just giving them tons of cash). I'm constantly struggling to stay afloat with my finances. I can't wait to graduate so I can find a real job and make things a bit easier. I wonder if there's some sort of specialist I could go to, assuming I could afford it, in order to make me a more organized individual?

New Chapter

For the first time in a long time, I am happy. I was never depressed but just content with where my life was. So many things have changed in the past year. I have finished my first year in graduate school. I have a boyfriend that I have been dating for the past almost four months that I love very much. I have a great apartment and one amazing roommate.

Yesterday, the boyfriend and I went to my cousin's wedding a few cities over. It was a perfect wedding. Everything went off without a hitch. My boyfriend looked great in his suit and I looked pretty in my dress (a 1940's cream and chocolate brown polka-dot dress with matching chocolate brown wedge shoes). The reception was outside at the bride's parent's house in their backyard. Yes, it was a very tasteful southern wedding. We had a great time together until we were almost back to his apartment. He was looking off into the distance like he sometimes does. On this particular occasion, I asked him what he was thinking. He said he was thinking about us and our future. I think the wedding got to him. He said that my cousin and his bride just seemed to be so sure of their love and everything seemed so perfect for the two of them. He was comparing their relationship to ours. Nothing is ever perfect. We don't know what goes on behind closed doors. Of course their wedding day made their relationship seem ideal... it was their wedding day! I'm sure they've had their disagreements and fights with one another. If you really love someone, you should try your best to work through all of the bullshit. Right?